Untitled
by Sakura555
Summary: She hated his balls. But she obviously couldn't get over him. What an idiot.
1. Chptr I

**I feel like I have to fairly warn you. I'm not very good with updating my stories soon. But if there's enough reviews, I just MIGHT update sooner, considering I have LOTS of free time. And this is just to try and get me back to the FF sphere. So yeah, expect BIG disappointments. But just hope all the same. *sadistic but pitiful smile* And I have a very foul mouth….**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, everyone would be better off looking like dots than how I know how to draw them.**

**Dedicated to: Sasuke and Sakura for being such an awesome and addicting couple.**

**WARNING: VERY FOUL LANGUAGE. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

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_Chapter 1_

Fuck life.

Fuck hell.

Fuck me—no wait, don't do that.

Just, psh, forget about it.

But don't forget to fuck this fucking bastard who's fucking mocking me with that fucking smirk of his. Yes, I was just testing how many times I can say fuck in a sentence. Which turns out to be four, and that wasn't fucking good enough.

Oh how I want to show him who's boss. I'd rip that smirk off his face and fu-castrate his balls. And much to my pleasure, I could. Me and Uchiha – I sneered as I thought that word. Yes, I SNEERED. I'm never calling him Sasuke-kun again! FEEL MY LOATHING! – danced in a graceful and dangerous dance trying to see who gets to damn who first. And I was winning. Damn right was I winning.

He was weak. weak. weak. weeeaaaaak. I laughed sadistically as I punched him in the gut.

_CRUNCH!_

Oooh! I liked the sound of that. He was darn well slow. Muahahaha! FML! Yes, I was going to use FML as an acronym for Fear My Loathing now. Because I was cool like that. I may have gone with FMW for Fear My Wrath but wrath is so overrated. And I'm cool. And insane. And sadistic. And insane. And bored. And insane. And all the other things. But we can't forget insane. So there, I went with FML. Got a problem with that?

Dancing on my toes, I dodged a very close call attack from the Uchiha shithead and tried to attack back as gracefully as I could. Because every heroine's got to look graceful –or at least cool– when kicking some serious ass.

Seeing an opening, a grin spread over my face in satisfaction as I got behind him, ready to pummel him.

_HELL YEAH!_

-X-

_CRASH!_

Damn. I woke up

And it was getting to the good part too...

Double damn.

But ah well, let's face it. That can never happen in real life. Know why? Plenty of reasons. One: Sasuke wasn't _that_ weak nor was I _that_ strong either. And Two: I'm not Mary Sue.

Okay, maybe I did say '_plenty of reasons_' but two's plenty and everyone knows that. So throw logic out of the window. Yes, throw it out. Kick it out. Do not think.

I sighed and rolled on my back, wanting nothing more than to get more sleep with fucked up dreams of castrating the Uchiha. FML! Muahaha! But damn, I have to get up. That crash that woke me up did not sound pretty and the least I could do is check to see that no one broke the urn containing the remains of my precious mother.

Heaving a big sigh, I pulled myself up and didn't bother to comb my pretty pink hair before walking down the stairs. Oh good, my mother's remains hadn't been disturbed. But my father's were. And…oh _damn_.

"Sasu-chaaaaan!" I shrieked (whined) as I pulled my kitten – who can blame me? It was a pretty name – away from my dad's precious remains. Damn. damn. damn. damn. damn. _damn_! "_Why_ did you piss on dad's remains?"

-X-

"It's okay Sakura-chan. I'll take good care of this cutie. I'm sure he didn't mean it. I'm surprised he had the brains to pee on some dirt instead of on the shiny floor."

No Naruto, he meant it. I swear! I can see that evil gleam on his eyes _all_ the time. He obviously took after that _thing_ I named him after.

"It's my dad's _remains_ Naruto! On purpose or not, I am thoroughly pissed."

Naruto shuddered when I said 'remains'. Yes, shudder Naruto, shudder! FML! No _fucking_ thing –purposely or not– is allowed to piss on my dad's remains. They had to be evil to do something like that. They just had to!

Naruto can obviously feel my loathing because he was already backing away slowly, trying to protect and shield the little ball of fluff in his hands from my icy electric glare.

"I'll pick him up tomorrow Naruto. I just need to not see his…" evil little _play-innocent-cause-no-one-would-blame-something-cute-like-me_ fucking ass "…face for now." I said in contrary to what I thought. My smile was black in place and my eyebrow was twitching and I slammed the door on his face.

Now, time to find a way to purify my dad's precious remains. Damn that cat!

"Sakura-chan's scary when she's angry and smiling like that." Naruto whispered to the kitten from behind the door.

Hell yeah!

* * *

_Flap flap_

"Look. A bird."

_Flap flap_

"What have you got there birdie?"

-X-

_Knock knock_

"…"

_Knock knock_

"Go away."

_Knock knock_

"I said go away you f—oh, Shizune."

"Tsunade-sama…what if it was one of the elders that was there and not me? You should really be cautious with your words."

"I don't give a damn about those elders."

"…"

"…"

Glare.

Glare.

Sigh.

Glare.

"A messenger bird arrived."

"And…?"

"It's from Suna. Here's the message."

(pause)

"Shit. Makiro!"

"Hai! Tsunade-sama."

"Call Haruno Sakura and Tanaka Ten-ten over and tell them to be quick as this is a priority mission."

"Hai!"

"…wait."

(shuffle of papers)

"Include Hyuuga Neji too."

"Hai!"

-disperse-

* * *

He was evil.

A _really_ evil little spawn.

An evil little spawn who took after the man he was named after.

"CURSE YOU SASU-CHAN!" I cursed as I placed the lid back on the urn of my father.

Now my father smelled like cat-piss.

And I had no fucking idea how to disinfect that.

Sigh.

Double sigh.

Triple sigh.

Poor father…

"Haruno-san."

Fuck. fuck. fuck. fuck. fuck. I wasn't on my guard and that damned ANBU guy with the mask surprised me.

"Hai?"

What kind of unguarded _baaad_ ninja are you Sakura? You let your guard down. _Baaad_…

…I'm blaming it on Sasu-chan! When I finish here, I'm taking Sasu-chan back and I'll proceed to strangling that fur ball of an evil spawn to death. FML! Muaha! From now on I'm sticking to Muaha. Muahahaha is so overrated. And Muaha was shorter and had a more longer lasting effect.

"Tsunade-sama summoned you. She said to be quick since it was a really important mission."

Darn. Spawn strangling will have to wait.

"Hai! I'll be there as soon as I finish fixing up some stuff here." I nod and smile.

The masked ANBU dispersed and in a hurry -because I was planning to take a short visit to Naruto first- and running out of ideas, I grab some fresh flowers from a vase nearby (which I placed early this morning) and dumped it inside my father's urn, returning the big jar to where it was supposed to be.

Let's just hope that when I get back, my father's remains would smell like 'the fragrance of a flower'.

Walking out of the apartment, the bright sunshine hit me and I felt hot…

Not _that _hot, you pervert.

I meant _hot_ hot. Like literal hot.

I locked the door behind me and began jumping from rooftop to rooftop heading toward Naruto's house. I felt elated that I could sneak some spawn strangling in. I bet that house was still messy. No wait, I bet that house was even messier than before. Well, duh! Of course it would be messier. Naruto was an idiot who didn't know how to clean. He seriously needed a girl who could look after him. Like Hinata for example, but Naruto just _had_ to be too dense to realize this. Sometimes, I couldn't help but want to punch him to the sun for being too dense and not realizing Hina-chan's feelings…Poor girl.

Landing on Naruto's roof, I jumped down on the balcony and rapped my hand across the glass door sharply.

_Knock knock_

Oooh, I could see Sasu-chan in there. He was rubbing against Naruto's legs and purring, all the while looking at me with an evil gleam in his eye. I could _swear_ he was mocking me. Oooh, let the spawn strangling commence!

"Yes, Sakura-chan?" Naruto opened the door and peered out at me curiously. "I thought you were getting your kitten tomorrow?"

Damn right I was. I didn't want to see that fur ball's asshole excuse of a face. But now I'm to go on a mission, I just _had_ to sneak in some spawn strangling before I left. It would help me feel better.

"I was. But then Naruto, I have to go on a mission. So, well, I just wanted to say goodbye…" I walked past him softly to my kitten and seemingly picked him up tenderly. But unbeknownst to Naruto, my grip on the little spawn was anything but tender. FML YOU LITTLE BITCH! Muaha! "…to my little Sasu-chan." I smiled up at him, careful to hide the struggling poor kit out of his sight.

"Sasu-chan? Why does that name sound familiar?"

Idiot.

"Nothing really." I dropped the choking and poor kit to the floor. I almost pitied the little creature. Almost. He deserved what he got. Hah! But I didn't want to kill him. No not yet. Strangle him? Yes. Murder? No. Torture? Hell fucking yeah! "Gotta go." I smiled and headed back to the door. "Oh and Naruto?"

"Hai?"

"Do us all a favor and invite Hinata to ramen tonight."

This was a favor long overdue.

"Hinata…oh you mean Hinata-chan?"

Obviously. Who else you dense dumbass?

"Yeah."

"Sure." Finally! "Bye Sakura-chan! Take care!"

My eyes softened. He may be a dumbass, but he was one of my closest friends after all.

"You too."

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**I'm not the type of author with amazing long chapters but I hope you're satisfied. Really, I hope you're happy. And if you are, please tell me in a review. Please?**

**Sakura555**

**Over and Out!**


	2. Chptr II

**I finished this a week ago. I swear. All I had to do left was to edit it and post it up. But my baby crashed and I had to go send him to the doctor. You have no idea how much I worried that he lost his memory and I'd have to retype this chapter. Luckily, I just got him back. So here's your chappie! **

**Disclaimer: Naruto does not belong to me. It belongs to the wonderful Kishimoto-sama who was a genius to have thought up Sakura and Sasuke.**

**Dedicated to: The four people who alerted this. Yes, you inspired me. I practically forced myself to sit down and finish this. Now review! Don't be invisible. I can see you! Muaha!

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_Chapter 2_

"Haruno Sakura."

"Hai!"

"Hyuuga Neji."

"Hai!"

"Tanaka Tenten"

"Hai!"

"Good. Now that you're all here, the three of you are assigned to a top priority A-rank Mission to deliver this package…" she motioned to a parcel similar to that of a normal birthday present wrapped in cloth. "…to Suna. Further details will be discussed when you get there. These details will be delivered by the Kazekage himself and I expect you to follow his orders. You will leave in _fifteen_ minutes. Pack your belongings enough to last you about thirty days' worth of stay. Hyuuga, you are in charge of the team. Do you understand?"

"Hai, Tsunade-sama."

"Good. Dismissed."

My jaw dropped and I gape at her like a fish out of water.

Actually, that's an ugly mental image. Let's just say, '_I stared at her as a surprised young lady would_' then. Yes, that would fit quite well.

Jaw dropping is so overrated. Gaping is ugly. And so are fish.

No offense to the fishies.

But seriously, that's all? A mission to deliver a 'package'? And sending three of Konoha's –ahem- more efficient ninjas? (Yes, I am being modest here) To pack for 30 days?

Has she gone _insane_?

That's boring! Boring. boring. boriiiiiing!

If I were her, I'd assign this mission to a genin team for training!

…and this was what I told her.

Leaving out the insane part of course…and the boring part.

'I don't give a _damn_. I am the Hokage and you WILL follow orders.'

Knowing her, she'd probably be itching to say that…

…I know I would. And I'd even add an FML and a Muaha! at the end.

But sadly, I'm not her.

And she was the Hokage.

She knew better than to say that.

"This package is _important_, Sakura—" Tsunade-shishou replied.

Important my _ass_.

"There may be some robbers—"

Hence why Jounins are assigned over Genin teams.

"—And there's another part of to the mission aside from delivering which, as I have mentioned earlier, would begin when you get there as the Kazekage himself will assign in to you."

Oh.

So there was a hidden part.

Awesome! I wonder what it is.

"Anymore questions, Sakura?"

Well sure, I had tons more. Like what the next part of the mission? But I'm sure she made it perfectly clear that it was Gaara who would be giving that part to us.

Or was it going to be boring? But that was a stupid question to ask.

And was I pretty? Weird question. Considering it may have come out of nowhere.

Does it involve kicking ass? Hell yeah, I sure hope so.

What's up with Neji's hair today? It's less prettier and not as shiny as usual. …

Do I have to do it?

Do I still get to have Uchiha-induced dreams that involved pulling out that snake stuck up his ass?

Why did she choose this team?

Do you think Gaara grew since the last time we saw him? (Which was a few months ago…or was it a year ago? I don't remember.)

Did she think fishies were pretty?

How am I supposed to have evil spawn strangling sessions if I'd be gone for about a month? I can't live without Sasu-chan's spawn strangling sessions.

But these questions didn't need to be asked and others didn't relate to the mission even!

Oh damn! I let my mind wander for too long and now everyone's looking at me weirdly. It's the _whats-with-her-is-she-still-in-the-world_ look.

I should know. I give them to Ino-pig _all_ the time. She tends to stare off to space sometimes.

"Uhm…no, Tsunade-shishou."

"Good. Now get going! Geez, I need some sake and I don't want any witnesses to my slacking off."

Pfft. She all but confessed. That was so _her_.

I could see Shizune shaking her head in the corner. How did she ever put up with Tsunade-shishou for so long?

Poor woman.

Me and the other three bowed slightly and left the room. Once outside, Neji-san grunted slightly and said, "You heard her. Prepare a month's worth of supplies. Keep it light. We're doing this quickly. Meet back at the gate in ten minutes."

Neji-san sounds like the Uchiha.

Neji-san reminded me of the Uchiha.

Why was I thinking of the Uchiha again?

Fuck the Uchiha!

(…..please note that I didn't and will never mean that phrase literally. Keep in mind at all times that that's a curse. A curse to the Uchiha. Curse you Uchiha! FML! Muaha!)

Okaaay…back to the real world Sakura!

So yeah, where were we?

Oh, the part where Neji-san was grunting and whining, like the Uch—someone I know, about meeting him at the gate all packed and ready to go in ten minutes.

Damn ten minutes was too short to pack all the stuff.

Huh?

…they left.

Typical.

Curse you too Hyuuga! FML! Muaha!

I ran to my house, mentally ticking off what to prepare.

Clothes.

Weapons.

Medical Supplies.

…

…

…

…

…

…

But ever since the thought struck me, I've been wondering about it, distracted by it. I couldn't even remember what to prepare anymore.

…would or would Tsunade-shishou not think that fishies were pretty?

And somewhere in the back of my mind, I could hear a tiny little voice shaking her tiny little head and saying, _"You are hopeless, Sakura. Truly fucking hopeless."_

-X-

Sleep was wonderful.

Sleep was inviting.

Sleep was calling to me with open arms, mocking every fiber of my being.

Sleep was taking advantage of my weakness and whispering. _whispering. whispering. whispering_. She knew how much I wanted to go to sleep and dream fucked up dreams of the Uchiha cowering in fear. Yes, Uchiha, FML! Muaha! _muaha. muaha. muaha_.

But unfortunately, duty always comes before pleasure. I'm going to castrate whoever thought up that quote. Mawr!

(If you're wondering what Mawr is, it's a cross between Mew and Rawr. Yes, I made it up for no reason just to be original and cuter. Because Rawr is so unoriginal. And Mew is cute!)

It's been seven hours since we left the gates of Konoha and currently, Neji and Tenten took the early bus/plane/whatever to Dreamland while I'm stuck here in this cruel cruel world, trying to finish my '_500 Ways to Torture Sasuke_' list in my mind while trying to keep a lookout for anything that threatened our mission and its condition.

It would take us two more days to reach Suna. One and a half if there were no problems, just one if we were fast and lucky. I looked over to my teammates, Neji Hyuuga and Tenten Tanaka. It's true that I've met both of them before and I know them. I went to missions with each of them. But not with both of them together, and not for as long as this. We aren't even close friends like they were with each other.

Speaking of them, is it just me or do they just look so cute together? I mean they…er…complimented each other so much. Think about it! A gay and a tomboy? I mean…ahem,…er…I meant a girly guy and a tough girl…no, that didn't sound right either. Let's see it this way then. A guy with long hair and a girl who preferred to tie her hair up to as short as possible. Also, a girl who specialized in long range attacks and a guy who specialized in short range attacks. Weapons, Fists. And there was this weird way that they seemed to always understand each other. Perfectly. I mean, their relationship seemed different from the usual 'Opposites Attract' couple. Theirs were a relationship of complimenting each other rather than attracting each other.

I snapped to my senses when something odd rustled nearby. Suddenly alert, I jumped down the tree and positioned myself on front of the two resting figures so that I could guard them, all the while throwing a kunai directed to where the sound came from. My mind's wheels were already turning, analyzing questions like, what would I do if it was just a squirrel? What would I do if it was an enemy nin? How do I find out? How do I know this is worth waking Neji and Tenten up for? Am I overanalyzing? Why am I even thinking about this crap?

Nothing was happening.

I had thrown the kunai but it didn't get through to the other side and continued sailing, it didn't get deflected either, and I didn't even hear a scream. Utter silence. And it was creepy. I didn't feel any presence at all before so either it's just a damn bat trying to scare the life out of me or an enemy ninja who was quite proficient in masking his chakra and would have me dead in the next few moments if I wasn't careful, I wouldn't know.

At times like these, Neji and his Byakuugan would be really helpful. But damn me and my pride. If it turned out to be a silly animal creature...I don't even need to finish that thought. I didn't want to wake him up, not yet. Not only would I be completely humiliated and lose my big ego-ed pride, he would also be very mad with the fact that I disturbed his beautiful dreams. Or was that just me? But if I don't wake them up and it turned out to be really skillful enemy ninjas, I might get taken out before I can wake them up, and…the explanation's really long so let's just say that the mission's condition was in danger here and leave it at that.

So what would it be Sakura? The mission's condition or your fucked up pride?

Another rustle and kunais were flying out. Okay, that proves it. These were enemy ninja. Dodging it would mean it would hit the two people I was protecting. So I took out some kunai and deflected it instead. Turning to the two sleeping figures to wake them up and search for the package to ensure its protection, there was a gust of wind and suddenly I felt a presence behind me.

Fuck.

I'm screwed.

I had forgotten one of the most common rules in fighting and one that everyone would or should know. 'Don't turn your back on the enemy.' Clenching my hand in a fist, I pivoted on my feet, gathering as much chakra on my hand as possible, aiming to kick the two awake all the while distracting the man behind me with a punch. Let's just hope this works. Oh please. please. please. please. work.

The last clear real thing I saw…was red.

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**There! You guys be the judge of that. Feel free to point out any grammar or spelling mistakes and tell me your general opinion of it.**

**I love you all,**

**SasuSaku RULES!**

**Sakura555 (I really need to get a new pen name. Sakura555 is soooo unoriginal **_**and**_** unfashionable. Pfft)**

**Over and Out!**


	3. Chptr III

**Back with another chappie. **** Muahahahaha! (I'm not Sakura so I used overrated words. Sorry. :P)**

**Disclaimer: I do **_**NOT**_** own Naruto…*sniff***

**Dedicated to: closetbookworm, anilove15, and SasuSaku Forever and Ever. Kloseee! Ani-chan! Sfae-chan! Domo Arigatou neh?**

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_Chapter 3_

I was skipping down a red pathway holding an array of pretty red flowers in my hand under the red sky, a big smile on my face.

…you have no idea how much I want to say that.

But I can't. Because it wasn't true.

Only the red part was true.

Red. red. red. red. All around me red. red. red. red. red….DAMN. Sharingan. And Sharingan means: Uchiha. And Uchiha means…I don't need to finish that.

What, oh what, have I done to deserve this?

Is this karma? Is this my punishment for castrating the Uchiha in my dreams? Why?

Who was this? Which of the evil, coward, gay hot Uchiha brothers dared pull his Sharingan on me?

Show yourself you evil, coward, strong, fast, smart, handso—cough gay fucking bastardly piece of shit who has nothing else to do but pull his Sharingan on poor, innocent, pretty, unsuspecting people like me.

*Cue Sasu-chan Cutie Kitty Face©*

* * *

Searched her mind.

Searching. _searching_. _**searching**_. _searching_. _**searching**_.

Searching complete.

Raised an eyebrow.

This was what drove her to madness?

Interesting.

Evil mind started creating creative ways to use this against her.

* * *

Now, how to get out from this illusion again? Oh yeah, I can't. Sharingan was one of the most powerful ways to use Genjutsu. Damn.

Wah-Wha-What? Ants? In a place like this? I could feel them crawling up my legs. I looked down…

I gasped and muffled my scream. Chibi Sasukes!

What the chocolate chip creamy fudge?

This was worse than being killed -my body being chopped into mangled forms- and being thrown into the ocean to be eaten by the ugly fish, and left to be digested in its dirty little stomach for _years_ before someone finally catches the fish and _eats_ it!

No wait, that was worse.

But still! Point is: this is bad. Reeeeeeeal bad! There were Chibi Sasukes crawling up my legs.

Wait, let me emphasize that much better.

There were _Chibi Sasukes_ crawling up my legs.

There were Chibi Sasukes _crawling_ up my legs.

There were Chibi Sasukes crawling _up_ my legs.

There were Chibi Sasukes crawling up _my_ legs.

There were Chibi Sasukes crawling up my _legs_.

_**Chibi Sasukes**_

_**crawling**_

_**up**_

_**my**_

_**legs.**_

Fuck! That sounded so _wrong_.

And my inner fangirl was squealing with delight, and I had to lock her up and throw her to the back of my head where I can't hear her screaming, '**Eat me Sasuke-kun, Eat me!**'

Ew. That sounded so gross.

Sakura, calm down. This is an illusion. _I could feel them crawling up my arms._ This is an illusion._ Crawling up my back._ This is an illusion. _Crawling up my head._ This is an illusion. _Crawling. crawling. crawling. crawling._ Illusion Sakura, I-L-L-U-S-I-O-N! _**Eat me Chibi Sasuke-kuns, Eat me.**_ To hell with being calm! And you, _points at Inner Sakura,_ get back in your box! _Points at pieces of blown up box._ What the censored, censored, and censored? Fix your box, and get back in it!

The Chibi Sasukes were driving me insane.

The Chibi Sasukes were insane.

I was insane.

This was insane.

I was not insane.

The red sky is insane.

Insane, period.

Shannaro!

I started plucking them out. Throw calmness away. Yes, throw calmness and peace of mind away! If you don't, the Chibi Uchihas will eat you _alive_! And yes, I don't want that to happen.

**Uh-huh.**

Quit screwing with me. I DON'T want that to happen! Inner Sakura is locked up in a box _don't_ listen to her, baka!

But no matter how much I plucked and pulled and kicked and punched, there just had to be hundreds of them.

Insert sarcastic and pissed eye roll here.

Someone. Please! Get them off me! For the love of all things cute, get these Chibi Uchiha's off me! (for they were _not_ cute.)

…and suddenly, they were gone.

I would love to say that they ran away because they were terrified of me and my super strength, but that would be lying.

They didn't run away, no.

They didn't disappear either.

Instead, there they were, merging with each other. Into one big Uchiha with spiky black, greasy hair and lazy, ugly, onyx eyes sneering down at me, mocking me.

Oh hell no!

You cannot intimidate me. Bring it on, Bastard!

He smirked with that evil, devilish, familiar smirk of his that said, _'Oh yeah, get ready to get your ass kicked! I'm super, you're not. Grunts'_ and came at me.

I grinned. Oh how I missed this. I missed fighting with him and beating him to a bloody pulp.

Who's the boss? I was. Shannaro!

He disappeared and reappeared behind me, delivering a punch to my gut, effectively throwing me up in the air with his force.

Damn he was fast.

He jumped up in the air along with me and raised his sword high.

Funny how it seemed to sparkle under the sun just like how Gai's teeth did. Focus Sakura!

I kicked him in the stomach, using the force to get away from him.

He noticed this and grabbed my leg.

Inner Sakura drooled. Oh, hell no!

-X-

Suddenly, my knees buckled beneath me and I involuntarily shuddered. Looking up, I found that I had been released from the Genjutsu and Neji and Tenten were looming over me with worried expressions. Well, at least Tenten was. Neji was just staring at me, stoic as ever, looking as constipated as always. Touché.

I felt relieved.

But at the same time, I wanted to yell at them that next time, they should break the Genjutsu when I finished beating the crap out of the Uchiha, no matter how much of an illusion he was.

No, I was _**not**_ losing. Don't listen to my inner self. I was just warming up for the real fight. That's why I got my gut punched on purpose…and my foot pulled on purpose... Don't you see? I was fooling him into thinking that I was losing!

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…yes, I know I'm not fooling anyone. Fine! Don't shove it in my face every damn minute!

Insert Angry Irritated Sigh Here. FML! Muaha!

"Sakura, are you alright?"

Don't disturb me, I'm arguing with myself!

"She's probably just traumatized." Grunt.

I am not! Man, that grunt reminds me of someone I am so itching to kick right now.

"Probably."

"Thank you Neji-san, Tenten-san, I'm alright now." I smiled sweetly, grabbing Tenten's outstretched hand and standing up. "I feel much better now. What happened?"

"Well, Neji said he felt your feet brush against him for a second…" Tenten started.

Pointed glare from grunter to speaker.

"…okay, fine, millisecond. How do you count that anyway?"

I have no idea either. Why do people like him always have to be so….detail oriented? I mean seriously, millisecond? How does he know it's a millisecond, let alone count it?

"And in turn, he nudged me awake and I, not knowing what was happening, I…I…I- in my defense, I didn't know what was happening. I thought I was flying in kunai shaped clouds, eating ice creams, and throwing kunais at the mountain as my target and-"

"Just get to the point already, Tenten-san!" I interrupted as politely as I could. If you count me gritting my teeth at her with the sweetest smile in my face. I looked like an angel. Okay fine, a devil. An angelic devil?

"Okay, fine! I…I…I…I…"

Oh, here we go again.

"She meant to say, she got startled and yelped, '_Oh, my ice-cream!_' so loudly, she scared the attackers away." Neji finished for her.

Oh. So now they were shoving in my face the fact that they got to go sleep and dream pretty dreams and I didn't…and they ate ice cream too. Damn. See? Why couldn't I dream of ice cream for a change? I'm tired of seeing that _ssuhagb_ all throughout my beauty—_and-when-I-say-beauty-I-mean-terrible_ sleep. WHY CAN'T I DREAM OF ICE CREAM?

P.S. _ssuhagb_ means '_Snake Shoved Up His Ass Gay Bastard_'. Oh, I totally need to write a dictionary for moi. I am _sooo_ good, ain't I?

"Hey, who can blame me? I was asleep, okay? And it's not my fault I thought my ice cream was dropping, wasting away where no one can lick it-_don't you look at me like that, Neji Hyuuga! I am not insane!_"

Neji grunted and looked away.

They understand each other so damn well. *sniff* I'm envious.

"So who was the attacker?" I asked, eager to get back at that piece of shit whose twisted mind dared use *grits teeth* Chibi…_Uchihas_ *ungrits teeth* against me.

Neji seemed to act a bit odd for a minute before grunting again.

"He means to say he doesn't know because he didn't have the time to find out because by the time he opened his eyes with his Byakuugan activated, they were already gone. And he's feeling rather irritated that he wasn't able to find out in time"

Grunt.

"And on his defense, he says he was too busy trying to keep me from embarrassing him any furth-_Hey!_"

They understood each other alright.

"So where's the parcel?" Tenten asked?

"Parcel...?" I repeated rather stupidly, feeling around my clothes. "I know I kept it close to me…" I muttered.

Looking up at them with my eyes wide, Tenten gaped and Neji scowled.

I bet they were all thinking what I was thinking.

_Fuck._

* * *

**I typed up 1,000 words last week but I wanted 2,000. But then I got a writer's block after Sakura's 'torment', thinking of ways to put action between Neji, Tenten, and the mystery Sharingan user but I couldn't think of anything so I just put in that lame 'escape' in. And I didn't even make it to 2,000! *sighs irritatedly* **

**Guess you'll have to figure out later which Uchiha did that…**

**Or I can just tell you now.**

…**But that would just spoil the fun.**

**Over and Out!**

**~ Sakura555 (I swear by next chapter, I would have already thought of a more original pen name.****)**


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